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Sometime in the final days of May my friend Ellis Clay took her own life. She must have come to her decision based on several years of strife with health and mental issues, finding this a better way. She put me in her will the week before leaving this life and left me everything she owned. I am stricken with confusion, sadness and anger at myself. I had several chances to say something to her, to try to stop her or more importantly, to tell her how much she means to me. I did none of these things. The truth was, I was afraid to speak up. She was a beautiful person and a tremendous example of kindness however, she kept her demons deep within and I find that hard to accept. I want to help but it's too late. Now I am surrounded with her possessions, memories and questions. I know there may have been nothing that I could have done. I even think I understand why she did it. I don't know what to do now. I'm trying to honor her by dedicating my show to her because she was an amazing artist and I think you would appreciate the gesture. Ellis, this is for you. jessiestrub@yahoo.com
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